A lot has happened in the Marvel Cinematic Universe since the release of WandaVision. From new heroes rising to the multiverse breaking, all of this craziness started with Wanda Maximoff finally becoming the Scarlet Witch. Through it all, this series created many new iconic Marvel quotes.
Don’t touch that dial! Reminisce on all of the magical and funny moments from the first Marvel Disney+ series. Here are the top 60 WandaVision quotes.
60. “So what’s a single gal like you doing rattling around this big house?” – Agnes/Agatha Harkness (Episode One: Filmed Before A Live Studio Audience)
Despite being an evil sorceress, Agnes was a great nosy neighbor.
59. “Oh, are you sure, dear? Many hands make light work. And many mouths make good gossip.” – Agnes/Agatha Harkness (Episode One)
Wanda and Vision were ill-prepared for dinner with the synthezoid’s boss Mr. Heart. Luckily, Agnes came to the rescue by providing food ingredients and instructions.
58. “With all these close calls we’ve been having, it seems the people of Westview are always on the verge of discovering our secret.” – Wanda Maximoff (Episode Three: Now in Color)
Since Wanda is in control, would it be a big deal if the people of Westview knew she had powers? Or is this all a part of her little charade?
57. “Darling, the talent show fundraiser is the most important event of the season, and it’s our neighborly duty to participate. Plus, it’s our chance to appear as normal as possible while doing so.” – Wanda Maximoff (Episode Two: Don’t Touch That Dial)
Wanda hopes that by participating in the talent show, the neighborhood will accept her and Vision as a normal couple.
56. “You’re Ralph Bohner?” – Captain Monica Rambeau (Episode Nine: The Series Finale)
To the disappointment of many Marvel fans, Evan Peters’ inclusion in WandaVision resulted in a dick joke instead of a multiversal X-Men tie-in.
55. “Fussy babies meet buns of steel!” – Agnes/Agatha Harkness (Episode Five: On a Very Special Episode…)
Fussy babies are no match for a dark sorceress. The way Agnes rocked those cribs looked like a great workout.
54. “She’s your meat puppet. I just cut her strings.” – Agatha Harkness (Episode Nine)
To throw Wanda off, Agatha releases Dottie from Wanda’s hex control. Dottie pleads with Wanda to let her see her daughter again, even if it means putting her under Wanda’s control.
53. “You’re clearly in over your little read head. So why don’t you surrender your magic to someone who knows what to do with it? And I’ll let you keep this pathetic little corner of the world all to yourself. What do you say?” – Agatha Harkness (Episode Nine)
In exchange for keeping Wanda’s fantasy world alive, Agatha wanted the power of the Scarlet Witch for herself. That kind of power in Agatha’s hands would lead to catastrophe.
52. “Well, life moves pretty fast out in the suburbs.” – Wanda Maximoff (Episode Five)
It is not often that one has to watch their kids grow up, bury their dead dog, and confront the military all in the same day. Can’t Wanda just be happy?
51. Look, we’ve all been there, right? Letting our fear and anger get the best of us. Intentionally expanding the borders of the false world we created.” – Wanda Maximoff (Episode Seven: Breaking the Fourth Wall)
Everyone succumbs to fear and anger from time to time, but Wanda went over the deep end with her showcase of power, even if it meant saving her husband’s life.
50. “Today, we will lie to you, and yet you will believe our little deceptions, because human beings are easily fooled due to their limited understanding of the inner workings of the universe.” – Vision (Episode Two)
“And now my wife and I will delight in your dumbstruck little faces. Flourish!” After swallowing some gum, Vision gets intoxicated and becomes less self-aware than he already is. At least a drunk Vision made for some great comedic moments.
49. “Your power exceeds that of the Sorcerer Supreme! It’s your destiny to destroy the world.” – Agatha Harkness (Episode Nine)
Hopefully, Doctor Strange never has to find out who is more powerful between himself and Wanda. Since she will appear in his sequel, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, a confrontation between the two magic users seems inevitable.
48. “So you’re saying the universe created a sitcom starring two Avengers?” – Agent Jimmy Woo (Episode Four: We Interrupt this Program)
When Marvel Studios announced WandaVision at San Diego Comic-Con, many Marvel fans had the same reaction as Agent Woo.
47. “What are we looking at here? Is it an alternate reality? Time travel? Some co*ckamamie social experiment?” – Agent Jimmy Woo (Episode Four)
Once again, Jimmy Woo channels the confusion of the viewer. While viewers got more answers in WandaVision episode four, they merely scratched the surface of the mystery.
46. “We got the full clown car. It means whatever the threat is, S.W.O.R.D clearly has no idea what they are dealing with.” – Darcy Lewis (Episode Four)
To diagnose the Westview threat, S.W.O.R.D summoned Darcy, a chemical engineer, and other scientific experts. Darcy was right that S.W.O.R.D had no idea what they were doing. Magic users typically outmatch the human characters in the MCU.
45. “She was literally one split end from cutting her own bangs.” – Agnes/Agatha Harkness (Episode Seven)
Often when a character cuts their bangs in a film or tv show, it symbolizes that they are going crazy or need therapy. Agnes may have had an ulterior motive for being Wanda’s friend, but she stepped in at the right time following Wanda’s meltdown in front of her kids.
44. “Ah Wanda. The rebellious years. Quick question, your reaction to the bombing of your civilian apartment building, and the murder of your parents, was to join an anti-freedom terrorist organization?” – Agatha Harkness (Episode Eight: Previously On)
Orphan Wanda and Pietro may have been desperate, but there had to be better options than joining Hydra.
43. “How is anyone doing this sober?” – Agnes/Agatha Harkness (Episode Two)
During a planning committee meeting, Agnes sneaks in some alcohol for herself. Surely many people that have to partake in boring meetings feel the same way as Agnes.
42. “Señor Scratchy just loves the stage. He played Baby Jesus in last year’s Christmas pageant.” – Agnes/Agatha Harkness (Episode Two)
Agnes’ pet rabbit Señor Scratchy is quite the cute star. He was originally supposed to have more screen time in the series finale of WandaVision.
In his cut scenes, he would have transformed into a demon to fight Monica and Wanda’s kids during their attempt to steal the Darkhold. WandaVision director Matt Shakman axed the scenes because they deviated too much from the main plot.
41. “She recast Pietro?” – Darcy Lewis (Episode Five)
Both Marvel fans and the characters in WandaVision were surprised to see Evan Peters show up as Pietro. Since Peters played Quicksilver in the X-Men film series, his inclusion resulted in countless online theories discussing what his presence in WandaVision could mean.
40. “You didn’t think you were the only magical gal in town, did you? The name’s Agatha Harkness. Lovely to finally meet you, dear.” – Agatha Harkness (Episode Seven)
Many Marvel fans saw this twist coming, but Agatha caught Wanda by surprise.I guess Wanda really isn’t the only magical girl in her own private given space after all. Wanda created Westview to be the only place she can still be with Vision and be happy, but now Agatha is disrupting her plans.
39. “That accent really comes and goes, doesn’t it?” – Agatha Harkness (Episode Eight)
This WandaVision quote is a self-aware jab at Wanda’s Sokovian accent. Depending on the Marvel film or WandaVision episode, Wanda’s accent changes from scene to scene.
38. “You could point out that the death rate of single men is twice that of married men.” – Agnes/Agatha Harkness (Episode One)
In this WandaVision quote, Wanda and Agnes are reading about seduction techniques from a magazine. However, pointing out death rates is not the best turn-on.
37. “Are you using your night vision, Vision?” – Wanda Maximoff (Episode Two)
Vision is not the only one practicing their dad jokes.
36. “Well, me and the boys were playing a rather thrilling game of horses with shows. No, that’s not it. Shoe horses! No. Ah! Horse’s shoes!” – Vision (Episode Two)
The boys trying to teach a drunk Vision how to play horseshoes seems like a hilarious scene. Vision would probably have a hard time comprehending why humans throw around horseshoes for fun.
35. “Wanda. Who is doing this to you, Wanda? Wanda? Can you hear me? I’m here to help you.” – Agent Jimmy Woo (Episodes Two and Four)
This WandaVision quote occurs when Agent Woo and Darcy attempt to contact Wanda through a radio signal. Viewers first heard Woo’s voice in episode two. It was interesting to see this moment occur from another perspective.
34. “In a real magic act, everything is fake.” – Wanda (Episode Two)
While Wanda was referring to her magic act for the talent show, this WandaVision quote hints that Wanda’s sitcom world is fake.
33. “Boys, handle the military. Mommy will be right back.” – Wanda Maximoff (Episode Nine)
It is not every day a mother asks her kids to fight the military. Whether the kids have superpowers or not, this action seems irresponsible on Wanda’s end. Luckily, Captain Rambeau arrived in the nick of time to save the boys from Director Hayward.
32. “Tried reading to him, but for some reason, Charles Darwin’s The Decent of Man made him cry even harder.” – Vision (Episode Five)
In an attempt to get Billy to stop crying, Vision tries reading him an unusual bedtime story. I would cry too if someone read me one of Darwin’s books as a baby.
31. “Oh, this is awkward. Your ex and your boyfriend together at the same party. Who are you going to choose, Wanda?” – Agatha Harkness (Episode Nine)
It is always a little bit awkward to run into an ex-lover, whether human or synthezoid. An instigating evil sorceress also doesn’t help the situation. Having two of Paul Bettany doesn’t seem like a bad thing, however.
30. “I can’t feel you.” – Wanda Maximoff (Episode Eight)
When Wanda goes to the S.W.O.R.D headquarters to collect Vision’s body, she is shocked to see scientists disassembling him. In an excellent and heartbreaking performance by Elizabeth Olsen, she approaches the broken pieces of Vision’s body to say goodbye.
29. “Okay, so maybe I went a little too dark there. But they’ll be fine. Vision is made of vibranium. They literally inherited tough skin.” – Wanda Maximoff (Episode Seven)
The likeliness of Billy and Tommy actually inheriting vibranium skin is slim but would make for a good superpower. All the superpowered genes (Billy’s magic and Tommy’s speed) seem to come from the Maximoff side of the family.
28. “She could have taken out Thanos on her own if he hadn’t initiated a blitz. I mean, nobody else came close.” – Captain Monica Rambeau (Episode Five)
During a discussion about Wanda’s power levels, Captain Rambeau brought up how Wanda almost singlehandedly took out Thanos in Avengers: Endgame. Agent Woo and Darcy then referred to Captain Marvel and how both heroes got their powers from an infinity stone. Feeling uncomfortable at the mention of Carol Danvers, Monica steered the conversation back to Wanda.
27. “Oh, don’t worry, darling. I have everything under control.” – Wanda Maximoff (Episode Four)
Knowing something strange is going on in Westview, Vision goes to express his concerns to Wanda. Wanda assures him that nothing is wrong, but Vision doesn’t seem convinced.
26. “Ah yes. My trip. I don’t think we’ll get away after all. Small towns, you know. So hard to escape.” – Doctor Nielson (Episode Three)
Doctor Nielson was originally going to go on vacation with his wife but canceled his plans following the birth of Wanda’s twins. Nielsen’s quote is ominous and filled with hopelessness, hinting that he knows everything is not what it seems.
25. “I most certainly am not! I’m a regular carbon-based employee made entirely of organic matter. Much like yourself, Norm.” – Vision (Episode One)
While at work, Norm compliments Vision’s productivity levels, calling him a “human computer.” Vision felt the need to defend himself since he thought Norm figured out his secret.
24. “I had no idea how much Wanda had endured before coming to Westview, how much we both had, I guess. Though I can’t remember it. For me, it feels like it happened to someone else, you know? But for her, it’s mere weeks ago. What am I doing here, sitting, talking to you when I should… This is absurd. I need to get back to my wife.” – Vision (Episode Seven)
Here, Darcy gives Vision a recap of Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame. This conversation made Vision realize all that his wife had been through and that he should apologize for his recent behavior.
23. “You, Vision, are the piece of the mind stone that lives in me, you are a body of wires, and blood, and bone that I created. You are my sadness and my hope. But mostly, you’re my love.” – Wanda Maximoff (Episode Nine)
It is romantic that Wanda and Vision’s powers are linked through the mind stone, giving them a deeper understanding of one another. No matter what, a piece of Vision will always be with Wanda.
22. “You know, a family is forever. We could never truly leave each other, even if we tried.” – Wanda Maximoff (Episode Nine)
Given the existence of a memory restored White Vision and Billy and Tommy screaming out for help, there is still hope for a family reunion. Wanda’s family is still out there in some shape or form.
21. “We are an unusual couple you know?” – Wanda Maximoff (Episode One)
“Oh I don’t think was ever in question,” replied Vision. A magical witch and a synthetic android definitely make for a unique couple. Aren’t they a fine pair?
20. “My husband and his indestructible head.” – Wanda Maximoff (Episode One)
Those who watched Avengers: Infinity War knows this WandaVision quote is not accurate. Vision’s head is, unfortunately, very destructible, getting destroyed twice in the same film.
19. “Don’t use the last five years as an excuse to be a coward.” – Captain Monica Rambeau (Episode Six: All-New Halloween Spooktacular!)
Monica called out S.W.O.R.D Director Tyler Hayward for wanting to start a war against Wanda. Director Hayward tried to guilt Monica by mentioning her dead mother and how tough the past five years were (thanks to Thanos’ snap), but Monica saw through his nonsense.
18. “It’s probably just a case of the Mondays, am I right?” – Wanda Maximoff (Episode Seven)
Even powerful nexus beings feel off their game once in a while. Wanda chalked up her powers going out of control to the rough night she had on Halloween.
17. “I actually did bite a kid once.” – Agnes/Agatha Harkness (Episode Seven)
This WandaVision quote appears as a cutaway joke when Agatha offers to watch Wanda’s children, perfectly fitting the modern sitcom vibe of the episode.
16. “The devil’s in the details, Bev.” – Dottie (Episode Two)
Dottie may have had a small role in the series, but this WandaVision quote encouraged viewers to look for hidden details in early episodes. The devil might be in the details, but Marvel’s actual devil Mephisto is not in WandaVision.
15. “Well, I have nerves of steel, so there goes your theory, Mr. Doctor” – Vision (Episode Three)
Vision was nervous about becoming a father but took the doctor’s advice that “every new father-to-be gets nervous” a little too literal.
14. “I know you have a secret thing for Mexican wrestlers.” – Vision (Episode Six)
The Halloween episode of WandaVision provided Marvel with a topical way to include several classic comic book costumes.
At the request of Wanda, Vision dressed up as a Mexican wrestler, with his costume being a callback to his first appearance in “Avengers #57.”
13. “Is there something I can do for you, Wanda? Do you want something changed?” – Herb (Episode Six)
Much to the dismay of Wanda and Herb, the residents of Westview are covered in silly string by Fake Pietro. Herb’s quote comes off as genuine but has an ominous undertone, considering that Wanda is in control of everything.
12. “Lucky Gal. The only way Ralph would remember our anniversary is if there was a beer named June 2nd.” – Agnes/Agatha Harkness (Episode One)
After completing WandaVision, fans can’t really blame Ralph for forgetting his anniversary with a sorceress that twisted his mind. Can’t imagine what kind of housewife Agatha would be.
11. “I don’t need you to tell me who I am.” – Wanda Maximoff (Episode Nine)
After doubting herself and her abilities for so long, Wanda steps into her power, embracing the Scarlet Witch within her to defeat Agatha. As the Scarlet Witch, Wanda is her true self.
10. “It’s not like your dead husband can die twice.” – Fake Pietro/Ralph (Episode Six)
When Vision ventures outside Westview, Fake Pietro makes this snide remark to Wanda. He definitely deserved the power blast to the chest for that.
9. “You move at the speed of sound, and I can make a pen float through the air. Who needs to abbreviate?” – Wanda Maximoff (Episode One)
Despite being as powerful as they are, this WandaVision quote shows that Wanda and Vision aren’t used to the problems of everyday life.
Even superheroes can forget about appointments or important dates. They are only human (or Synthezoid).
8. “This is chaos magic, Wanda. And that makes you the Scarlet Witch.” – Agatha Harkness (Episode Eight)
Ever since Elizabeth Olsen’s introduction into the MCU, fans had been waiting for her to take the mantle of the Scarlet Witch.
Jimmy Woo even pointed out that Wanda never had a codename in previous MCU films, making this reveal even more satisfying.
7. “I had a brother. His name was Pietro.” – Wanda Maximoff (Episode Three)
“This WandaVision quote named dropped Pietro for the first time since Avengers: Age of Ultron. The reference of Wanda’s late brother broke Monica’s illusion, forcing Wanda to throw her out of Westview.
6. “Here’s the thing, boys. I’m your mom. And as such, you were counting on me to have all the answers, right? Well, I don’t. I have no answers. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Niente. I’m starting to believe that everything is meaningless. I mean, you’re welcome to draw your own conclusions, of course, but that’s just where I’m at.” – Wanda Maximoff (Episode Seven)
As children grow up, they realize that their parents don’t have all the answers. Having a mental breakdown in front of her fake kids probably wasn’t the best move for Wanda.
5. “We have said goodbye before, so it stands to reason.” – Vision (Episode Nine)
“We’ll say hello again,” replied Wanda.
From “Infinity War” to WandaVision, the relationship between Wanda and Vision always seems to end in heartbreak. Despite this separation, Wanda and Vision find ways back to one another.
With the White Vision lurking around the MCU, perhaps a reunion for the pair isn’t far off.
4. “I can’t wait to be a proud papaya.” – Vision (Episode Three)
Besides practicing changing diapers, Vision was also working on his dad jokes.
3. “It was Agatha All Along!’ – Agatha Harkness (Episode Seven)
Many viewers theorized that Agnes would become the villain Agatha Harkness. What they didn’t account for was her catchy theme song.
Inspired by the theme songs from “The Munsters” and “The Adams Family,” this boppy tune explained how Agatha was behind the mischief in Westview.
2. “You are familiar with the thought experiment the Ship of Theseus in the field of identity metaphysics?” – Vision (Episode Nine)
Instead of an explosive showdown, an intellectual debate between Vision and White Vision was an appropriate altercation for both characters.
Both Synthezoids concluded that neither of them is the true Vision, yet both of them are Vision.
1. “What is grief, if not love persevering?”- Vision (Episode Eight)
At the Avengers Compound, Vision keeps a lonely Wanda company. Vision’s wise but naive take on Wanda’s grief shows that sorrow isn’t the only emotion she is feeling. Wanda’s grief for her brother (and Vision later on) reveals that their love lives on through Wanda.
What are your favorite quotes from WandaVision? What are the best quotes from WandaVision? For more Marvel content, check out:
The Best Captain America Quotes From Every Cap
8 Best MCU Hawkeye Quotes That Hit the Bullseye
Top 65 Marvel Cinematic Universe Quotes Of All Time
